Everyone of us needs attention. Ironically, a belief is quite popular among many, that attention, rather seeking attention is a ‘negative’ thing. As with every other belief, this one is also misplaced. As children, we emotionally needed attention. As we have grown up, the thing that has really changed, evolution-wise, is that this child is now a part of us and not all of us…albeit an important part. More often than not, I observed that the people who dress bad, or dress very well, or are aggressive, or are too shy or mystical, are actually acting out from their own inner child to draw attention to themselves. These are all defense systems, and can be generally categorized into 4 roles that we play to bring us attention to ourselves:
– the Intimidator – one who intimidates you through aggression of any sort,
– the Interrogator – one who seems interested in your doings and then criticizes you based on them,
– the Poor-Me – one who constantly finds something to worry or complain about, or tries to generate sympathy and
– the Aloof type – one who stays aloof and projects the appearance of knowing a lot, or being mystical.
(ref: The Celestine Prophecy)
The moment we start communicating with someone, we start playing one of these roles. If you are aware of how you feel towards the other person, you can ask yourself a few questions and immediately identify what role you are playing.
Even with a certain person you might find yourself playing more than one role.
Going back to the inner child, you developed one role primarily as a result of the roles your parents played with you. This role will generally dominate in the most important relationship with your life, until you completely become aware of it, and consciously embrace it, and think of Who you are beyond this role.
Inner child work concentrates on this. The clearing of the past which is associated with your role-playing.
Going back to attention, attention is probably the first process that you start as soon as you are born(or maybe even earlier). But what is attention? It is the process of gathering energy. Either it comes from the flawed beliefs that we don’t have enough, or that you must “take” it from someone else or both.
The truth is the moment we acknowledge that it is energy you seek, the facade of the term attention falls. Now we know. You seek energy. Also the awareness rises that you have enough energy with yourself at any given time.
The only question is how? The best way, I learnt is to be connected to yourself. There are many ways to do this and is actually very easy.
– To begin with, talk to yourself like a mother would to a child – lovingly.
– To go easy on yourself. We lower our vibrational frequency when we judge ourselves…in any way. To tell yourself it’s ok to make mistakes…its okay, you’ll get another chance…it’s okay to treat life as an experiment instead of an absolute.
– To indulge in our hobbies; our hobbies are ways that we have primitively, as children, discovered as activities that put us back in touch with our innate self, our Divine self. What a revelation! So all you have to do is do the things you love doing! 🙂
– To connect with nature. If you’ve read Eckhart Tolle’s books, you will realize that nature has a way of communing with our souls that is not only easy but also very rejuvenating. Sitting beside a tree and feeling the warmth and earthiness of its trunk transfers a stillness to you that is best felt. Even just looking at dogs play with each other grabs you in the moment and stills your mind of all thought. As with anything else in nature, animals have a way of keeping you in the moment, in Here and Now.(ref. Kapila)
Now begins the journey of becoming aware of roles and rising above them by drawing from the Universal cosmic energy that each of us have been blessed with, easily known as your Higher Self.
“When you listen to a bird, there is a moment of pure listening before the mind says something about it…There it is: the stillness, the aliveness, the awareness itself.”
– Eckhart Tolle, “Eckhart Tolle’s Findhorn Retreat, Stillness amidst the world”