Criticism from an outer source is basically our Inner Critic finding its own voice. Each one of us has been giving a lot of importance to the voice of the critic in us…and while it may appear that this Critic Persona prevents us from being proud, it is actually one which feeds the Ego. How? I have observed this cycle of thought…
> Many people consciously block out their own appreciation out of fear – “what if I become proud?”. This is after all, just a fear(= False Evidence Appearing Real, Nithya)!
When I personally meditated on exploring this fear of pride, it was actually a deep feeling of not being “good enough”. As I dived in further, the root cause of pride is when you have first been criticized by someone directly or indirectly by way of comparison to someone. This generally puts pressure to excel and after one does, there is a false sense of superiority because inward you are still “stuck” on that image of you being or having been ‘lower’ to someone – again, just a fear, a false assumption.
So what criticism actually is doing is feeding the Ego. What does ego mean? Simply put, ego is any emotion or feeling or thought that does not feel good OR that does not ALLOW you to feel good about yourself or anyone else for that matter. Give it any number of labels you want, like hurt, pain, pride, anger, etc.
So start appreciating… Yourself before anyone else. Like attracts like, and deep appreciation for your own self will be followed by deep appreciation of anyone else.
Break out of your habitual thinking. Ask yourself, what would you lose if you choose to learn?
> Remember one golden-platinum Truth: When you criticize someone, it’s a part of You that you are criticizing; when you find something that triggers deep appreciation from you, it is again a part of You that you are appreciating. Conversely, when you appreciate yourself, you are appreciating a lot of “invisible” beings who went into making that incident/situation/quality to come about. And when you criticize…well… you are sending ‘bad’ thought currents out to everyone who co-created this reality with you, and moreover making yourself feel awful!
> I have heard someone say, “A compliment a day keeps a therapist away” and that is definitely true. Make a start. Keep it one compliment a day, and start increasing it. Look for new facets or activities in your day that you can compliment yourself on, however basic it may be. For e.g I often compliment myself on holding a good conversation with someone…it could be a conversation on weather, a place, or any common area of interest. When you compliment yourself, your appreciation level increases, and complaint level falls. Soon you will be counting compliments…even if they are just in your heart! 🙂
Judgment is simply criticism taken one step forward. You are essentially disregarding the person on behalf of his/her one quality! It is like cutting down a tree for one rotten fruit it gave…or killing a hen for one bad egg. Must we treat life as an absolute? Then Life comes back like a boomerang to tell you, “I shall be an Absolute”.
Judgment…criticism…complains…comparison…fancy words for one fear, one feeling – of being incomplete. You simply bring down your Vibration when you start these cycles of thought. Can you do a “CANCEL CANCEL” of these thoughts and start replacing them with compliments? All I can say is, I tried it, and it worked. Yesterday I entered a new affirmation to acknowledge all the appreciating thoughts in me – “EVERYTHING I NEED IS WITHIN ME NOW…I AM NOW COMPLETE.”