Ways in which we glorify our victimization:
1. We are constantly defining ourselves by the stories of what we lost and where we got hurt, rather than what we learnt.
2. We cannot find anything good or good enough about ourselves.
3. We take time to work on an issue we are facing, but don’t take the same amount of time to write down the “10 best things I did for myself today“. Or an appreciation list.
4. We complain. (Even complaints about our politicians is counted here)
5. We feel let down by people usually expressed as “No one understands me/No one wants me”
6. We don’t have a list of “21 Awesome Moments of My Life” accessible to us that we look at EVERYDAY.
7. We believe we are waiting.
8. We stay and put up with people with whom we don’t fit, unwilling to risk the relationship for fear that the “other” person will get hurt.
9. We feel terrible when someone tells us the truth (which we already knew by the way).
10. We stop communicating when all we need is to say, “Hey, I need time to process this”. We stop taking calls as a result and ignore messages. This is our way of dragging the other person also into victimization.
11. We invest in one self-help course/workshop after another, compulsively.
12. We don’t like to follow our intuition (which is hell-bent on empowering us).
13. We don’t know what we like to do by way of celebration. (“Celebrate what”, you asking?) And we don’t clearly know what we thoroughly enjoy that makes us lose the track of time completely.
14. We say “sorry” instead of saying, “I preferred to do xyz”.
15. We call up our friends only on a need-basis. Not to just say, “Hi!”. And definitely not to say, “Hey! Things are turning out awesome for me these days”. Maybe you find there is no one you can share this joy with too.
16. We don’t like to talk about our achievements (not having practiced it in front of the mirror, you have already assumed it is coming from an ego place within you)
Well been there and done that and I still go through long phases of preferring victimization rather than strength. The reason I decided to put this up is to bring myself back to awareness if ever I fall into this trap again. And also to point myself to the wonderful things I could think about myself.
I am taking time out to celebrate. And this post is the first step. 🙂