As Anuja, founder of Inner Light healing center, and I started discussions on building our first workshop together on Inner Child healing, we stumbled upon the topic of sexuality. As we shared our experiences with each other, it was interesting to see how she and I were both a few stops away from each other on the same road of exploration.
We both have had similar experiences of witnessing how as children we were taught to abhor our sexuality, which led to shame and guilt being associated with our sexual organs and everything even remotely associated with sexual pleasure. However living in India it is no secret that you are constantly exposed to this radar – as a girl being raised with beliefs (often unconsciously) that you have to guard yourself against men, that men are out to get you, that as a woman you are not safe, being attractive means you are a coveted asset. Thought begets reality. It is therefore no surprise that women are objectified for their sexuality in any case as a part of their upbringing itself. And this thought goes down so deep that I remember recently when there was a huge outcry on an inhuman gang-rape of a girl in India, I sat down and asked myself, where does this come from? And this is what I stumbled upon. In my own consciousness I have objectified myself through all this conditioning. Moreover, it is a habit to see myself as a sexual object that can be threatened when I step into a crowded bus or train station, or a marketplace. But even more astounding was the deeper reflection of this perception onto men – men are nothing but sexual predators, or sex objects out to get you. This breaks down any scope one might have of relating to men as human beings – as people with hearts, as someone who might have lost someone precious in his life, as someone who longs to be understood, as someone whose heart might sing if I extend a smile and a ‘thank you’ to. Isn’t a man just me in another shape and form?
Realizing this was a moment of truth. It was colorlessly obvious that holding on to the self-image of being a sexual object serves no one at all. In fact in chakra healing I remember learning that chakras are simply just seven levels of perception – if I relate to people at the level of sexuality, I become one-pointed in my perception and stop relating to them on the level of empowering one another (solar plexus), loving one another (heart), creatively mixing our energies (throat), seeing the grander design in each other’s lives (third eye) and feeling oneness (crown) – which is ultimately the highest evolution of all our relationships – that we are all just One Energy.
In this understanding I have been enjoying a great deal of inner security. I finally feel free of my own objectivism. This story has lost its hold and there is a greater fluidity in relating with the human part of the beings around me.
There still might be instances when instinctively I feel alerted and threatened. At that time with tools like EFT,and angel healing, I lift myself up from that level of perception to a more relaxed, expanded sense of being reminding myself, “Hey! You are just another human being. There’s more to you than sexuality”.