I remember my first brush with entities. I had just finished my inner child healing course and was invited by a friend to stay over because she said that she constantly sensed the presence of someone. She even had had experiences of talking to them spontaneously and releasing a few of them into the light without any experience whatsoever. As a result she was afraid to meditate. She had just started reading spiritual books. And in a spontaneous conversation, when I told her about my spiritual experiences, alongwith a common friend who was also on this spiritual journey with me, she had felt safe enough to confide in us.
Our common friend was a highly clairvoyant person and often could not control the “seeing” and it scared her often. On the other hand, I had just started discovering my own clair-sentient abilities – I could “feel” things on my skin. All of this had happened as a result of being in a spiritual course which was nothing less than a spiritual washing machine on an extreme tumble mode.
We went to her place one night and holding hands we began to meditate. Suddenly my clairvoyant friend said she was seeing something and started speaking. Yes she was also a “channel” but not necessarily channeling high vibrational entities. As she channeled some broken dialogues, me trying to witness my fear and at the same time joining the dots, my third friend screamed. We jumped up, shaking, opening our eyes and all we saw was a big cockroach that had crawled on my friend. And yet post-screaming we felt lighter and less tense than before. We joked about it and yet, couldn’t sleep all night.
A month or so later, the incident far behind us, I was waiting across the same friend’s house with my clairvoyant friend in the car. We had just dropped our friend to her apartment. We were waiting so that she gets in and waves at us. Suddenly I felt my hair rise, and “felt” a burkha-clad lady standing across the street watching us. At the same time, my clairvoyant friend quickly started rolling up the window saying I see a lady standing across the street watching us, and I don’t like the looks of it. I want to drive away. Very quickly we drove away from there. After that, I did not doubt the existence of ghosts or my friend’s clairvoyance or my “sense” perception.
A few days later, at the same place, I again started sensing energies. I was in a conversation with another friend when I suddenly felt the sunlight streaming in from the window grow brighter. I felt a tingling in my left palm. A whirring sensation. And I just started speaking things in a different voice. The tone was very gentle, masculine and highly intuitive. I was suddenly aware of everything around me as energy particles. I could see thoughts appear and disappear in my friend’s mind. And this “entity” was answering the questions in her head. This friend later felt it was Mahavatar Babaji. I received no validation in either direction, perhaps because of my own lack of curiosity. Besides I didn’t know who Babaji was. The experience got over in under 10 minutes. This was my only “channeling” experience. Until that point though I was highly skeptic of “channels”.
And yet all I took away from these incidents was that each of us needed these experiences to show us an aspect of ourselves. For example, for my clairvoyant friend, it probably taught her to trust her instincts and act upon them which she would often doubt. For my friend who rented that spirited house, the people she released into the light had similar issues she was facing in her life at the time – unrequited love affairs, suicide due to failed relationships. For me, it showed me an in-between world – spirits and ghosts exist. Not necessarily to harm you though.
A few months later I attended a course on talking to your ancestors who have passed on. I thought I would do well since I had the previous incidents to validate my sensing abilities. However, I could not sense or connect. Days later the guidance came to me through meditation – this “expertise” or vidya is not required for my soul’s growth at the moment. I dismissed it at that.
This all was in 2010. Back in 2011, I was visiting a friend who was doing a television show on haunted places. In the experience of it, she was sharing she had to do a lot of clearing after every visit to such a place. We were chatting at her home and she also mentioned one of her cats having died, after having taking on the energies my friend was carrying back from one such place. After we were done chatting, I left her place, got into another friend’s car and suddenly started feeling extremely displaced. We were in Mumbai. My friend who was driving the car, started feeling strange as well. It was a road she knew very well and yet at every other turn she found a vehicle charging at her, inspite of following the signals. At one point she felt she just had to stop driving and tune inwards. We drove into the first vacant open ground we found where we could park, which can be a very hard thing to find in Mumbai. The moment we got in, a man in the parking lot asked us to leave. We tried to request him and he revolted back saying, it’s a funeral ground for burning the dead. You can’t park here to “rest”! In hindsight now, it sounds quite funny. But in that moment, somehow it hit us why we were lead there. We had to release the energy at a safe place for it to leave. We eventually managed to get out of the car, walk around for 2 minutes and get back in. I felt relieved thereafter.
Today when I consult my inner guidance it tells me that I needed this experience to get over the fear of death. I had always thought death was a “bad thing”. However, through the release of this entity, or energy, I understood what a loss it is, when we encounter death in such a state of mind. It prevents us from surrendering to the cycle of light taking over completely. Not surprisingly, for a year I spent healing the fear of feeling “lost”. In a spontaneous recall with my mentor, I realised this fear came from being a ghost, suspended in an in-between stage for what felt like eternity, in between two of my past lives. My emotional release happened when she asked me, what if you let go? And I realised I didn’t have that option. Because I had already died. And that was the point when mentally I saw death in a new light. A completion. A surrender. In a big way, it helped me let go of my job, of certain strictly defined ways of relating, because I saw they all were like deaths happening to me. While inside of me, the very fact that I wanted to let go of them meant that death had already happened. Their cycle was over. But I hung on like a ghost.
Last month, I had another encounter of a similar kind. I was staying at someone’s house, a paradise of a cottage amid a beautiful green forest with lovely energy. A couple of nights later, I started feeling assaulted with nightmares. Graves, people dying, me navigating between bodies. I felt restless in the morning and confided this to my house owner friend. He was surprised. He said the property had been a graveyard and a few years ago they had all guests waking up like that with bad dreams and they had extensively got the energy cleared with a lot of fire and mantras. No one had nightmares since then. I thought maybe it was just my hyper sensitivity because of which I picked up this energy. That night I slept with 3 huge clear quartz crystals surrounding my head. I also changed the direction where I placed my head. All was okay until a couple of nights later I had a vivid dream – an army of crusaders came in from the sea. There was a peaceful colony, tall buildings lined up on both sides with very narrow lanes in between. Almost like Venice. The crusaders were on horses and came in yelling and shouting with swords. Suddenly the scene changed to women crying, sitting on a pool of blood that trickled inward into the colony as the land sloped inward from the sea. All the men had been killed. In my dream,I was a shocked witness. There was no fear in me whatsoever. Just a feeling of why is this happening with these people? I woke up abruptly, and woke my friend up and asked him to be there by my side. As I closed my eyes again, the dream continued. Someone in the background mentioned a neem tree. I interpreted it as I need to plant a neem tree perhaps in the grounds. I shared this with my friend, my eyes still closed. And he said immediately that there is already a neem tree just outside the verandah in the direction of my head. It was the only thing before the whole land was afforested a long, long time ago. It is the oldest thing on the property which was once a barren land extending from the sea. I was stunned.
The next day I stood next to the neem tree and asked it what I can do, silently. I felt like placing my hands on its trunk. I thanked it for standing. Words flew through my mind. Thank you for healing this land under you and releasing these spirits. I am sorry, I said. I remembered Ho’oponopono, and said to it, I heal that part within me that has created this reality. I am sorry. In my mind’s eye, I spontaneously saw the whole ground covered with white light.
As Aalif shared GD’s story of releasing entities, and prompted me to share what I had written as a comment on his post, I thought to myself in wonderment how life knows how to use you as a channel for its highest doing. Releasing entities is not something I can claim. Inspite of these experiences, tomorrow I am as capable of being scared as any other person. However, skeptic I am not.
I remember encountering black magic as a teenager. I remember a time when I used to meditate for hours in my house, alone, I would sense someone walking around in our house. Not necessarily evil, but not necessarily great either. The only thing that kept me grounded through these instances is the simple fact that what is meant to happen and unravel through you, shall. And that too shall pass. Your greatest protection is the love in your heart. And if it is really love, it encompasses even those who don’t realise that they have lost their bodies and are in transit. I remember one of my teachers who was once a Buddhist monk share his experience of how he experienced a ghost when he was in a forest monastery in Thailand, and learnt to go back to his breath amid choking sensations when he felt the ghost sit on his chest. He shared that he learned to include them in his prayers too when he said, “May all beings be free from suffering“. Later he learned from people who had visited that area that a man had turned into a ghost because of his over-attachment to eating pickles. It sounds so silly but carries such deep lessons – to be detached from even the littlest of joys. To be ready for death too with as much love as we treat life.
Perhaps through the sharing of this article, life seeks to remind a lot of us once more to trade fear for love. To see that as a species on this planet, alongwith animals, there are ‘other’ beings also who are longing for liberation. And if we let go of the “worldliness” of it all, it takes us to our own deeper truth – maybe we’ve all lived that other side too. If we meditate and see our own self reflected in ghosts, entities as well, perhaps there shall be no fear. Only compassion will remain. And maybe such articles are life’s calling for us that perhaps it is time to embrace this part of life as well.