Death, hate and self-love

If you love someone, let them know right now.
If you are ready to apologize, do it now.
If you are willing to forgive, let it go now.
Don’t wait for a better time, a more suitable day or a more convenient moment.
People change, or the sincerity fades, or lives come to a sudden end and the opportunity is lost.
At the end of it all you realise….our life is about our relationships. And relationships benefit from nurturing and painfully entangle with neglect
–Sangeeta Bhagwat

So beautifully put! This is the only thing I have sincerely aspired to live by, in every relationship, in every moment, in every meeting. Somewhere the deep undercurrent always whispers, death is at hand. Sometimes it manifests as wisdom and sometimes as uncontrollable fear. Learning that one is in a relationship with death. Rather I am now relating to it. Every moment a new sojourn, a new invitation – take this love as deep as you can. Self-love, the root of all other ‘loves’.

And as this discovery goes further, over the past few months I have been seeing the many forms of hatred – first, I projected it onto others (a habit of a lifetime!), then discovered it within, and now seeing it projected onto me. Whether it is truly running out of my system or it is just my point of perception, I do not know yet. What feels ‘real’ is that I can now watch it. Deep hatred is like a seed gone rancid. But it is a seed no doubt of the only tree that knows how to be born out of it – love. The amazement comes from seeing how hatred is the only way to keep something close to your heart. Love feels just too strong or painful at times. Or  just the plain admittance of it.
And yet as I watch, this narrow passage of hate fits just one being. And the deeper I enter hatred, the more I find love gushing in from all directions to hold me in my sorrow. And every time it does, it feels like being reborn. Death softens its grip once more. The more transformations have snowballed taking me along with them, the easier it has been to look death in the eye. And it is now the body’s chance to come to terms with it. It seems to be dragging itself around. I must talk to it and show it, somehow, that it too is eternal through the very account of its memory of death.
Ah Death! Your very nature is to bring aliveness…